What is Discord and how can I talk with my tamariki and rangatahi about the platform?

In this blog we discuss some benefits and risks of this popular platform. We’ve broken this information down into the following sections:

What do the kids say about the platform?

What is Discord, how does it work?

How old must you be to join Discord?

What do we as Classification Advisors say about it?

OK! but does Discord have parental controls?

The Green Flags: Benefits of Discord

While you’re here just be aware: The Risks

Final thoughts and further reading

What do the kids say about the platform?

To truly understand why tamariki and rangatahi use Discord, it’s helpful to hear directly from them. Master 14-year-old and Miss 17-year-old, talked to us about their experiences using the platform.

Master 14-year-old

He first heard about Discord when friends started playing games online. Now, they use it for clothing inspiration, as a messaging service, and more. He described it as a “hub for gaming with friends.”

He mentioned that the app is relatively safe, but the deeper you go, the more potentially negative behaviour you tend to see. This type of behaviour largely included swearing, insults, and casually talking about sexual or violent things.

Something else he noticed is how common it is for people to use an alias or alternative accounts, however, he uses his own name since he mostly interacts with his offline friends.

Miss 17-year-old

She uses Discord socially to talk to her friends who live in other countries.

She finds that the platform is safe depending on how you use it, and that talking to strangers can be risky. To stay safe, her username isn't her real name and has nothing to do with her or her personal information.

What is Discord, how does it work?

Discord is an online social platform that allows its users to find a community dedicated to their passion, and communicate through voice, video, text, and media. It can be downloaded on any device. Where social media platforms like Instagram and Snapchat are social networking apps focusing on photos and video with text, Discord focuses on topic-based conversations, such as gaming.

Discord servers are the primary feature. Servers are like a public chatroom that you can join and there are all kinds of servers; Pokémon servers, Roblox servers, servers dedicated to discussing NZ politics, and just general social servers for in-person friend groups. The biggest NZ Discord servers currently are dedicated to AI technologies, games like Fortnite and Valorant, and anime. It doesn't take long to go from googling Minecraft Discord servers to voice calling with other Minecraft gamers and building online friendships.

Similarly to Reddit, these servers are controlled by Administrators (admins) and/or Moderators (mods) who monitor and set the behavioural norms for their community server. They are the ones who started the server or were given mod privileges.

Servers comprise both text and voice channels. Though it is not very common, voice channel users have the ability to use compatible voice changer software to apply voice effects in real-time. Another feature is screen share, where users can share their screen with others in the voice channel, usually to show gameplay or what they’re doing. Anyone can start a server, so long as it abides by the Discord Terms of Service and Community Guidelines.

Some groups of gamers in the same server might separate or split into different voice calls with their different teams, so they can only hear and talk to their teammates. For example, everyone might start in Main Minecraft Voice Channel, but the two teams would separate into Minecraft Diamond Call and Minecraft Emerald Call, so they can go head-to-head.

Discord does include paid features, which mostly change the look and feel of your profile and text.

How old must you be to join Discord?

Discord is a downloadable app or browser site. The required sign-up age for Discord in most countries, including New Zealand, is 13 years old, as you may come across adult-content or illegal activities (like drug selling) that shouldn’t be on the platform. However, like other social media platforms, giving an incorrect birthdate can easily bypass this.

People are readily able to remain anonymous on the platform using nicknames, and most people don’t show their face on public servers.

What do we Classifications Advisors say about it?

For those who recall the old internet, Discord has combined the chat rooms of IRC with voice apps like TeamSpeak and Ventrilo to become a hub for gaming communities, able to be used across mobile, PC, and game consoles,

It’s important for people to be able to access and be accepted in their online communities, as a space for people to gather around their niche and socialise outside of home, school or work. If your child is using Discord, checking in on their online safety will benefit their socialisation and the continued well-being of these communities.

OK! but does Discord have parental controls?

Though it doesn’t have traditional parental controls, Discord enables parents to use their Family Center feature.

Family Center functions give parents visibility into their child's Discord activity without monitoring every message. Parents can see who their child has messaged or called, new friends added, servers joined, and active servers. With an Activity Feed and weekly email summaries, Family Center helps parents understand how their child engages on Discord and gain insight into the communities they’re part of.

While this is different to other platforms parental controls, what the Family Centre encourages is for families to have collaborative conversations around online behaviours.

Safety settings

Here are some key settings you can talk to your child about to help them stay safe on the platform. It would also be worth helping them understand that there is a legal line and a personal line, and both should be respected. Other users will also have their own personal line, and we shouldn’t expose others to anything that might make them uncomfortable.

1. Turn on “Filter explicit content” in Discord settings
2. Toggle “Direct Message” (DM) feature in settings, depending on whether you want your child contacting or being contacted by individuals outside of servers.
3. Enable friend request settings so your child isn’t engaging with people unless they accept their request.
4. Block unknown users.
5. Ensure they are familiar with the process of reporting inappropriate content or users.
6. Set up a strong password and two-factor authentication (2FA) for their profile.

For simple, step-by-step instructions on how to enable safety settings, click this link to internetmatters.org.

If your child created or moderates a server:

Discord also recently released its auto-moderation (Automod) feature, which allows creators/moderators of a server to automatically detect and block any undesirable or risky content before it’s posted. We would recommend this feature for any parents who have teenagers that are the moderators of a server (whether for friends or public).

What is Discord doing to ensure safety on their platform?

Discord’s Guardian Guide details their support for users. Their Trust & Safety team reviews any reports made by users, acting against those who violate their guidelines. Actions include warnings, removing content, suspending or removing accounts or servers in violation, or even reporting them to law enforcement. Discord's Teen Safety Assist (TSA) aims to create a safe teen experience by identifying potential harmful or unwanted content.

The Green Flags: Benefits of Discord

Discord helps teenagers deepen their real-life friendships by playing video games together, joining group calls and chats, and making new connections. It also allows them to meet others who share interests their offline friends may not.

Finding a sense of community is valuable—it can enhance mental health and spark creativity. With countless active online communities, Discord gives users the opportunity to explore their interests and connect with like-minded people who share their passions.

While you’re here just be aware: The Risks

The following mostly applies to online discord servers. If your child only uses private discord servers for a small group of their offline friends, then they won't likely come across these situations.

Though you must be at least 13 years old to access the platform, there are still publicly created and monitored servers that we would only recommend for ages 18+.

Extremely Harmful or Objectionable Content

#NSFW = "NOT SAFE FOR WORK” which means it’s 100% not safe for kids.

Some free-to-join servers on Discord are focused on sharing adult content, which, upon attempting to join, you will receive a content warning saying, “this channel is marked as age-restricted.” These restrictions are similar to typical porn sites, which allow access by clicking “yes” under the “are you over 18 years old” message.

Though #NSFW servers do exist, regular discord servers can also involve sharing of adult content, despite this violating the Community Guidelines.

A study by WithScotland revealed that “boys are admired for possessing sexual images of girls” and can treat it like currency. Today, servers simply dedicated to things like Star Wars videogames or Minecraft can contain these behaviours in their text channels. These situations typically include young boys sharing memes, videos, or gifs of pornstars or digitally-created sexual content for jokes, without understanding the impacts it might have on others.

Scams and Sextortion

The use of QR codes on Discord is a way that children can be scammed.

To link an account with Family Centre, children must accept a QR code sent by their parent. If you come across someone in a server asking you to scan their QR code to “access all the servers' features,” this could be a scam. Once you scan a scammer’s QR code, they will steal your account and access all your account’s information.

To avoid this, ensure your children don’t scan any QR codes or share personal information with anyone – even Discord moderators – apart from their own caregiver.

New Zealand Police and Netsafe detail the following as signs of sextortion scams:

• Meeting on Discord and quickly asking to move to another app.
• The scammer refraining or being hesitant to reveal their face, blaming their “faulty webcam.”
• Sexual conversations happen immediately or quickly after the first interaction.
• Profile or language inconsistencies – spelling errors or English being a second language which might not add up with their profile details.

If you come across this sort of online harm and need help or resources, pleasevisit the Netsafe or Department of Internal Affairs website.

Bullying

Some games can be very competitive, leading to some kids taking their anger or frustration out on others in their Discord voice channel. Read more about or get help with cyberbullying through Netsafe’s online resource here.

On discord servers, some people may use offensive language, such as the N-word; expressing racist or sexist thoughts; or being exposed to extremist ideologies. This may stem from the level of anonymity people can maintain on the platform.

While these behaviours may not have truly hateful intention, they can still create a hostile and alienating environment for young people.

Read more about how Discord is preventing violent extremism on their platform here.

If you or your child come across drugs being sold on the platform, please don’t hesitate to call 105 or use the following link.

Final thoughts and further reading

Maintaining frequent, positive conversations with your child about their online world, without judgement, is important.

Showing curiosity and calmness towards their online interests will ensure they are more able to tell you when they are facing problems on any of these platforms.

The world of social media is a complex one, and children are bound to make mistakes at times. How we approach these mistakes can determine whether they trust us to help them, so they are not navigating the rapid digital world alone.

• A parent's guide to Discord | ParentingPlace
• Discord Parent Hub | Discord
• Guide to enabling safety settings | Internetmatters,org.
• Staying safe on Discord | Netsafe
• The dark side of Discord for teens | CNN Business
• Is Discord safe for your child? A parent’s 101 guide to the social media app | NZ Herald
• The app young Kiwis are buying and selling drugs on | NewstalkZB
• Key messages  from research  on children and  young people who  display harmful  sexual behaviour | CSA
• Internet use and young  people’s sexual attitudes and behaviour | WithScotland
• Discord Sextortion: How to Protect Yourself If You're a Victim? | DigitalInvestigation
• Online Gaming Whānau Toolkit | Get Safety Tips With Netsafe | Netsafe